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Why do we downplay the struggles of motherhood?

This started as one of those ‘remember Instagram is only the highlight reel’ posts. I am standing in the kitchen with one baby strapped to me because that’s the only place he won’t cry and the toddler is sitting in the high chair demanding cheese and throwing the food I’d prepared her on the floor. She also informs me there is ‘mess’. The morning started at 5am. Little man was ready for the day. When he settled at 8am, Daisy was ready for action. Not to worry he lasted about 8 minutes before he needed tending to again. So we set about our day. There were tears and multiple dirty nappies but there were plenty of laughs and a contented run in the backyard. That’s what my post was going to be about, how much I’m enjoying the new backyard which although small gives Daisy a place to play. 

Usually I throw my insta posts out into the world with a one sentence caption but I think sometimes for the Mum on the other side of the screen, no matter how large our following is, there is a responsibility to be as real as possible. 

Downplaying our struggles is such a common thing. When my husband gets home tonight and says something like ‘so it was a rough day?’ which he’ll be saying based on the 18 texts I’ve sent during day, I’ll be all ‘oh no, not that bad’. Why? Because I know he feels bad that I’ve struggled through the day on my own but that’s life. He goes to work and we’ve made decisions so that I can stay home with the kids. I downplay it because why make he worry about something he can’t change. 

Mums do it all the time, especially to each other. Maybe we think of it as a sign of weakness or failure by admitting when we struggle. I don't have all the answers but I think the underlying reason we all follow influencers and mum bloggers is because we see something we identify with. The more 'real' and unfiltered the person is by showing when things aren't going their way, the more we soak it up. I guess there is a whole new argument there about watching others struggle to lift ourselves up but I'll leave that for another day and another post. 

It’s like when you see a perfect family photo at the beach. Mine would come with a disclaimer that we took the shot the moment we arrived before we all got feral and that most of the day was spent offering snacks, tag teaming swims, putting hats back on heads and applying sunscreen but there were some awesome moments of building sandcastles, being chased by waves and just being together. Because at the end of the day, that’s why we do it - for the good moments! 

So even though I’m totally down for sharing the highlight reel you’ll also find both my Instagram and blog are very much the unfiltered, behind the scenes of my life - no make up, messy house and all that jazz. That’s what I like to see from others but often forget to do it myself. By sharing it all, we are reminding each other that motherhood is a mixture of fun times, hard times, feeling great, feeling crap, being a snack bitch, watching them sleep because they’re so damn cute and a rollercoaster ride without a handbook! 

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